


flirting tactics

by perhapssoon



Category: Splatoon
Genre: F/F, everyones so clueless, how to get the girl 101, smh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 17:11:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16499417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perhapssoon/pseuds/perhapssoon
Summary: Headphones goes to Skull for advice. It goes about as well as expected.





	flirting tactics

“You have to snipe her.”

Headphones blinks and turns to the Inkling besides her. “Excuse me?”

“Snipe her. Show off your skills. The only way to impress her is to take her down.”

Headphones makes a noise somewhere between choking and laughing and Skull gives her an impassive look. “You aren’t serious,” she sputters when she’s finally able to speak again.

“I’m not kidding.” Skull lowers his charger as he speaks. “You have to squidbag her too.”

“Okay, the sniping kinda makes sense, but squidbagging–?” Headphones shakes her head. “Do you have any idea what N-Pacer will think of that?”

Skull is silent for a moment as he thinks. “Yes. First, once you snipe her, she’ll be impressed because it’s the first time in a long time that she’ll be splatted. And second, when you squidbag her, she’ll take it as flirting because why not?”

Headphones snorts. “She’ll be extremely pissed for being splatted, what do you mean? And if I squidbag her, she’ll target me when she respawns.”

“Which is good,” Skull continues resolutely, “because then you will be closer to her.”

“You do know that being closer to someone is different than someone trying to splat you by coming up to you?”

Skull shrugs. “I take it as the same. You’ll be dating within a week if you do it properly.”

–

She goes nearly two months before she finally is curious enough to try Skull’s ‘advice’ and ends up losing to the Emperor’s team so badly because of that one snipe that just happened to hit N-Pacer in the face. N-Pacer went ballistic and wiped out the entire team once she respawned.

Headphones decides to ignore Skull after that.

She’ll try to flirt with N-Pacer another way.

**Author's Note:**

> rip the lesbiabs


End file.
